If most people believe it is true, it becomes true to all
Because I believe that if most people believe it is true, it is true to all because I believe that this is true.
Saturday, April 22, 2017
Monday, April 10, 2017
The God's of Risk
Today, I played Risk, the board game of Global Domination.
I may have lost, but the information I received greatly surpassed that loss.
While I was playing, I was observing all of my friends, who were moving their little soldiers around on the map of their world. I started thinking that the soldiers maybe had their own lives, their own conciseness churning around in their heads.
Maybe these soldiers were alive in their own way, maybe they had families to think about, friends, lovers, and they were at war fighting for them. But why were they fighting the soldiers? Was it racism? Did each colour have a set of values and beliefs the other colours disagreed with? Did they just fight over the territory to have more land, to complete their mission?
Did all of the soldiers and canons agree that war was the answer to their troubles? Did some of them protest the war? Did some of these soldiers have faith, and got down on their knees before each battle and pray to their Gods asking for victory? But who were their Gods? Of course, we were their Gods, but how did they know of our existence? Was it the ash from one of our cigarettes that fell from the skies and landed in their world? Was it the tiny amount of saliva that dropped and hit one of the horses on the head during battle?
Well, the soldiers obviously knew something existed, but who were they praying to in actuality? One of the God was very concentrated playing, planing strategies and doing the best he could to win the game. Another was constantly on their phone, texting another God they were probably in love with. Another God had eyes as red as the army he was controlling, taking big puffs on his spliff before each turn, while I was laying on a couch, cradling my head trying to cure the hangover I had last night, while another still was not playing but watching us from a distance.
Imagine if one of the Green soldiers is praying for his family, his life, the victory of the battle, to someone who is doing rails of coke in a plane just out of his vision. How would he feel if he found out the truth, that the only reason for his existence is because his God wanted to get high, and he wanted to please the girl he was playing against?
Imagine if it's the same for us, the Gods are playing a game with us, and some of them don't care about us at all, all we are are little pawns on a table. We may give the same importance to our Gods as our soldiers give to us. As we pray to our Gods, some take us seriously, while others are shooting their semen all over us for the fun of it.
Later that night, something happened with one of the players that should have hurt me, but then I thought about that God above us who was inserting a frozen feces from his future self he had found in the plane of frost into one of his orfices, and life did not seem so bad.
That session of Risk opened my mind, and told me there are some higher powers who care more than others, and some who do not care at all and that's ok. It made me less scared of the Gods above us, of the unknown, and made them feel more human to me, more relatable in that way.
There was one final piece of information that I had forgotten though, something that made us all equal.
The Dice.
The laws of probability, the true Gods in this story. You can choose the best tactic to conquer a piece of land, but in the end, the dice have the final say. They are the ones who can make or break the game.
It made me wonder, do the Gods have their own version of Dice when they play with us?
===
Einstein would turn over in his grave. Not only does God play dice, the dice are loaded.
- Chairman Sheng-ji Yang
I may have lost, but the information I received greatly surpassed that loss.
While I was playing, I was observing all of my friends, who were moving their little soldiers around on the map of their world. I started thinking that the soldiers maybe had their own lives, their own conciseness churning around in their heads.
Maybe these soldiers were alive in their own way, maybe they had families to think about, friends, lovers, and they were at war fighting for them. But why were they fighting the soldiers? Was it racism? Did each colour have a set of values and beliefs the other colours disagreed with? Did they just fight over the territory to have more land, to complete their mission?
Did all of the soldiers and canons agree that war was the answer to their troubles? Did some of them protest the war? Did some of these soldiers have faith, and got down on their knees before each battle and pray to their Gods asking for victory? But who were their Gods? Of course, we were their Gods, but how did they know of our existence? Was it the ash from one of our cigarettes that fell from the skies and landed in their world? Was it the tiny amount of saliva that dropped and hit one of the horses on the head during battle?
Well, the soldiers obviously knew something existed, but who were they praying to in actuality? One of the God was very concentrated playing, planing strategies and doing the best he could to win the game. Another was constantly on their phone, texting another God they were probably in love with. Another God had eyes as red as the army he was controlling, taking big puffs on his spliff before each turn, while I was laying on a couch, cradling my head trying to cure the hangover I had last night, while another still was not playing but watching us from a distance.
Imagine if one of the Green soldiers is praying for his family, his life, the victory of the battle, to someone who is doing rails of coke in a plane just out of his vision. How would he feel if he found out the truth, that the only reason for his existence is because his God wanted to get high, and he wanted to please the girl he was playing against?
Imagine if it's the same for us, the Gods are playing a game with us, and some of them don't care about us at all, all we are are little pawns on a table. We may give the same importance to our Gods as our soldiers give to us. As we pray to our Gods, some take us seriously, while others are shooting their semen all over us for the fun of it.
Later that night, something happened with one of the players that should have hurt me, but then I thought about that God above us who was inserting a frozen feces from his future self he had found in the plane of frost into one of his orfices, and life did not seem so bad.
That session of Risk opened my mind, and told me there are some higher powers who care more than others, and some who do not care at all and that's ok. It made me less scared of the Gods above us, of the unknown, and made them feel more human to me, more relatable in that way.
There was one final piece of information that I had forgotten though, something that made us all equal.
The Dice.
The laws of probability, the true Gods in this story. You can choose the best tactic to conquer a piece of land, but in the end, the dice have the final say. They are the ones who can make or break the game.
It made me wonder, do the Gods have their own version of Dice when they play with us?
===
Einstein would turn over in his grave. Not only does God play dice, the dice are loaded.
- Chairman Sheng-ji Yang
Friday, January 13, 2017
The Man who Laughed
This is it, I've officially become crazy. I don't know who I am anymore. I tell myself that all my thoughts are not my own, all my actions are not me. I am only the one who receives, like a radio, just an object. I can either accept them or reject them. My negative thoughts are always there, like glue, I am unable to remove them. Sometimes I ask myself who is in controls all that is me. Ghosts? Aliens? God? Where do these ideas of me wanting to decapitate my neighbours come from? Where do images of dancing bears come out of nowhere? Where do these instantaneous happy and sad emotions come from?
Sometimes I am able to push back these feelings at will. Sometimes, I cannot.
I think my brain has snapped, and is playing tricks on me.
In my moments of clarity, I really don't mind at all that my brain broke down on me. I tell myself I can not give any cares about the negativity, that I can just laugh everything away. Maybe I should just laugh all of my negative thoughts, especially when I have those images of decapitating people, I don't know. I don't know what to do with my life. I feel like a robot.
I choose to be happy, and I push away my negativity, and I feel empty. I then push that emptiness away, but nothing can replace nothing. Sometimes for fun, i push away my happiness, just because I know that I can. Sometimes my only comfort is to laugh, and I'll find myself laughing for no reason at random intervals.
Laughter saved my life, and will save it again. It is the great equaliser of everything. It can stop negative thought, it can stop physical pain, it enhances the positive, it makes love even better. For me, love is the greatest mental emotion, and laughter is the greatest physical reaction. With both at your side, I believe you are truly unstoppable.
As I said above, in the greater picture of things, all of these negative thoughts don't really bother me at all. They say one much touch rock bottom before being able to rise up. After all the happened to me, I don't think I even touched the bottom. Maybe I did touch the bottom, but in retrospect, it wasn't that bad at all. If I had to do it all again, I would. But why? Because I don't care? Because I am crazy? Maybe I'm super-sain. Maybe the voice in my head is the saint, and I'm the crazy one. Maybe we are all the crazy ones.
All of this has made me not fear death anymore. Do I want to die? No, I want to live forever! Why? I'm not sure myself, it's a drive in me. I want to help people, through my words, my actions, I don't know. There are too many people who suffer in this world, we don't need to suffer, it's pointless and stupid. Maybe there is a reason to suffer, maybe it makes you strength to go on, it makes you grow. It doesn't do any of these things for me. Where does my will to live, to do things come from? I have no idea either. I think it comes from me, from the inside of my brain.
I control my brain. If I am able to control what I want to feel, I should also be able to to control my physical actions. But why have projects, goals in the first place? Can I create a story in my mind as to why every action I do is important? Am I able to do these actions the same way without said invented story? Can I create some type of emotion that is tied to every action? Pride? I don't have pride. Happiness? Should I block out all happiness until an action is complete? What if I want my happiness now? Do i have to power to not give in to my own demands?
====
Sometimes I tell myself that there is someone, at the very top, looking down at the whole canvas which is space-time-whatever else. I feel that he is protecting me, maybe even protecting all of us. He's protecting us and he's laughing. He's laughing at the absurdity of it all, the absurdity of life. Maybe he lost his mind, maybe he's understood something that no one else has, or something that no one ever will. Maybe there is nothing to understand.
The older I get, the more I see his point of view, and the more that I laugh. Sometimes I imagine I will meet him one day, and we will laugh together in the perfect harmony that is the everything, the ensemble, the totality.
Sometimes I think that I am this future laughing entity.
Sometimes I am able to push back these feelings at will. Sometimes, I cannot.
I think my brain has snapped, and is playing tricks on me.
In my moments of clarity, I really don't mind at all that my brain broke down on me. I tell myself I can not give any cares about the negativity, that I can just laugh everything away. Maybe I should just laugh all of my negative thoughts, especially when I have those images of decapitating people, I don't know. I don't know what to do with my life. I feel like a robot.
I choose to be happy, and I push away my negativity, and I feel empty. I then push that emptiness away, but nothing can replace nothing. Sometimes for fun, i push away my happiness, just because I know that I can. Sometimes my only comfort is to laugh, and I'll find myself laughing for no reason at random intervals.
Laughter saved my life, and will save it again. It is the great equaliser of everything. It can stop negative thought, it can stop physical pain, it enhances the positive, it makes love even better. For me, love is the greatest mental emotion, and laughter is the greatest physical reaction. With both at your side, I believe you are truly unstoppable.
As I said above, in the greater picture of things, all of these negative thoughts don't really bother me at all. They say one much touch rock bottom before being able to rise up. After all the happened to me, I don't think I even touched the bottom. Maybe I did touch the bottom, but in retrospect, it wasn't that bad at all. If I had to do it all again, I would. But why? Because I don't care? Because I am crazy? Maybe I'm super-sain. Maybe the voice in my head is the saint, and I'm the crazy one. Maybe we are all the crazy ones.
All of this has made me not fear death anymore. Do I want to die? No, I want to live forever! Why? I'm not sure myself, it's a drive in me. I want to help people, through my words, my actions, I don't know. There are too many people who suffer in this world, we don't need to suffer, it's pointless and stupid. Maybe there is a reason to suffer, maybe it makes you strength to go on, it makes you grow. It doesn't do any of these things for me. Where does my will to live, to do things come from? I have no idea either. I think it comes from me, from the inside of my brain.
I control my brain. If I am able to control what I want to feel, I should also be able to to control my physical actions. But why have projects, goals in the first place? Can I create a story in my mind as to why every action I do is important? Am I able to do these actions the same way without said invented story? Can I create some type of emotion that is tied to every action? Pride? I don't have pride. Happiness? Should I block out all happiness until an action is complete? What if I want my happiness now? Do i have to power to not give in to my own demands?
====
Sometimes I tell myself that there is someone, at the very top, looking down at the whole canvas which is space-time-whatever else. I feel that he is protecting me, maybe even protecting all of us. He's protecting us and he's laughing. He's laughing at the absurdity of it all, the absurdity of life. Maybe he lost his mind, maybe he's understood something that no one else has, or something that no one ever will. Maybe there is nothing to understand.
The older I get, the more I see his point of view, and the more that I laugh. Sometimes I imagine I will meet him one day, and we will laugh together in the perfect harmony that is the everything, the ensemble, the totality.
Sometimes I think that I am this future laughing entity.
The Submarine of Thought
In the beginning, the answers I had for the questions of life were simple.
As I continued my search, my answers grew more and more complex.
In the end, i realised that the simplest answers were more often than not, the right answers, the answers with the most meaning behind them.
===
It's like a submarine.
It starts off at the surface, but as time goes by, the submarine goes deeper and deeper into the ocean. At one point, it goes so deep, that it resurfaces on the other side of the world, finding the simple answers to be the truest.
The journey of finding the answer is just as important than the answer itself.
Conditioned to be Ashamed.
I feel like we live in a society where we are conditioned to feel ashamed of ourselves.
Ashamed of our physical attributes, of our thoughts, everything we do and say.
Is it society that creates us like this? Does it force us to be a certain way? Why don't we accept other's desires in others if those desires are not accepted by society?
Why are we so deep when judged individually, but so shallow when we are judged as a group?
What changes exactly? Do we just want to be accepted by people who surround us?
Where does the feeling come from to want to be accepted?
Does it come from the media?
Do animals want to be accepted also?
Let's stop judging others for the same things that we hide.
Or just stop judging, full stop.
Ashamed of our physical attributes, of our thoughts, everything we do and say.
Is it society that creates us like this? Does it force us to be a certain way? Why don't we accept other's desires in others if those desires are not accepted by society?
Why are we so deep when judged individually, but so shallow when we are judged as a group?
What changes exactly? Do we just want to be accepted by people who surround us?
Where does the feeling come from to want to be accepted?
Does it come from the media?
Do animals want to be accepted also?
Let's stop judging others for the same things that we hide.
Or just stop judging, full stop.
The infinite Printer
Imagine a printer, with an unlimited stack of papers.
The first page that comes out of the printer is blank, pure white.
The second page comes out with just a black pixel on the upper left side of the paper.
The third page has that pixel move just to the right of the previous pixel.
On each paper that comes out, the pixel continues to move across the page.
When the pixel reaches the end of the page, the next series of pages have 2 pixels on it, that travel along the page.
After that, you have 3 pixels, then 4 pixels, 10, a hundred, a million, trillions, all the pixels moving and shifting over one another.
The very last page is pure black, covered in pixels.
What can you find in between all of those pages?
Everything.
Everything that can possibly be imagined.
A picture of you on a dragon.
You sitting at the table with the 12 apostles.
A giant boat sitting atop a mountain,
An eye in an eye.
You and me in each other's arms.
Everything that you can imagine, and everything that you would have never imagined given many lifetimes.
Now imagine that the printer is in colour.
Would that mean that our imagination is limited? If someone sat down and memorised each page, would that mean he would have acquired all of human imagination possible? Nothing else to invent? They would know every story ever written (As it can print text too.)
All movies shown, image by image?
I think it's sad that there is a limit to our imagination, but also exciting to discover everything.
I hope that I am wrong about this machine, I hope that there is something that the machine cannot print. Emotion, I guess? What if there was an emotion machine that can make you feel every known emotions felt by man, at every intensity?
What if the machine could also print every sound possible? Mozart, Ice Cube, Jain?
Could we build a machine that does the same for smells? Taste?
Are we only limited by our senses?
Are there any senses that we can't access?
Is the world limited, or unlimited?
What if we could plug in all these machines directly in our brain?
Is it better to know all, or discover life through time?
Hopefully, I will know one day :)
Dear Negative Thoughts...
Do not trust your negative thoughts and feelings. I know not from whence they came, but they are not part of the original you.
I have no idea where they come from, but I know that they are not a part of us. The negative part of us activates and deactivates. We feel good , then in an instant, we can feel lonely, sad, angry, we want to cry for no reason. We don't control these negative emotions, why do we suddenly, for no reason at all, have negative memories appear just before us, or feel anxious when we are around people.
So don't worry about it. Don't worry when these intruders appear out of nowhere, they are just visitors. Why does this "negativity" want to hurt us? Is there a miscommunication, maybe they are just trying to help? If only we could talk to our little, emotional buddies. Tell them, hey, stop that, it's not nice, how would you feel if we did that to you? Maybe they would like it. Maybe spreading joy and love hurts them, and that's why they retaliate.
The best advice I can give is either to ignore them, or have constructive communication with them. Don't worry about it, we all have them, I think. All of these, weird, sad, violent thoughts aren't really you. Think of them as an unexpected visitor that, may or may not go away one day. Let them try to torture you, bring up that weird event you had when you were a teenager, that's all they do, make you remember. Have a good chuckle with them, and move on. If you can laugh about it, these emotions seem to not care to hassle you with them in the future.
A Letter to All Negative Thoughts:
Attention negative thoughts! Please leave me alone! I don't want to kill you, and I don't mind if you stay in my head, I mean, only if it pleases you of course, but please relax! Or don't say anything at all! Why don't you try sending us positive moods and memories! Maybe you already do and I don't realise it! If you can't I am willing to teach you, the wrong from the right. I might be impatient, but I apologise in advance, it's just really hard to deal with, you know. I'll tell you what, what if you only said positive things for 9 months? See how you feel after? Do you accept the challenge? <3 <3 <3
I have no idea where they come from, but I know that they are not a part of us. The negative part of us activates and deactivates. We feel good , then in an instant, we can feel lonely, sad, angry, we want to cry for no reason. We don't control these negative emotions, why do we suddenly, for no reason at all, have negative memories appear just before us, or feel anxious when we are around people.
So don't worry about it. Don't worry when these intruders appear out of nowhere, they are just visitors. Why does this "negativity" want to hurt us? Is there a miscommunication, maybe they are just trying to help? If only we could talk to our little, emotional buddies. Tell them, hey, stop that, it's not nice, how would you feel if we did that to you? Maybe they would like it. Maybe spreading joy and love hurts them, and that's why they retaliate.
The best advice I can give is either to ignore them, or have constructive communication with them. Don't worry about it, we all have them, I think. All of these, weird, sad, violent thoughts aren't really you. Think of them as an unexpected visitor that, may or may not go away one day. Let them try to torture you, bring up that weird event you had when you were a teenager, that's all they do, make you remember. Have a good chuckle with them, and move on. If you can laugh about it, these emotions seem to not care to hassle you with them in the future.
A Letter to All Negative Thoughts:
Attention negative thoughts! Please leave me alone! I don't want to kill you, and I don't mind if you stay in my head, I mean, only if it pleases you of course, but please relax! Or don't say anything at all! Why don't you try sending us positive moods and memories! Maybe you already do and I don't realise it! If you can't I am willing to teach you, the wrong from the right. I might be impatient, but I apologise in advance, it's just really hard to deal with, you know. I'll tell you what, what if you only said positive things for 9 months? See how you feel after? Do you accept the challenge? <3 <3 <3
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